(Holds Up A Cardboard Poster) "Needs Something To Do!"

I really don't think I've been this bored in a really long time. 

What makes me think this?

Well, I blog now, which gives people the idea that I think they care about what I have to say and how I'm doing.

I literally ran out of things to do online, and once that happens, I start struggling.

The "History International" channel is on right now, and I'm actually looking over at it every few seconds because my interest is peaked.

Kill me.

Do I have homework? It's complicated. I have a project due in English by next Monday, but it doesn't have the workload to make me get offline and do it right now. It could be easily done in two days, which is how long I plan on taking to do it, two days.

The weekends are mine, dammit. And I'm not going to sacrifice the only time I have to myself to do something that could be done during the school week. That's retarded in my honest opinion.

Yet, here I am, bored, without anything to do, and then complaining about a project I have to do? I hate hypocrisy, it's my most frequently used and least favorite word.

I seriously lack motivation (I literally just thought of that.)

If I had that interview today, I could be doing something productive and I could be happy right now, but, no, because I'm too young.

I could be cleaning my room, (which I actually plan on doing soon, because it's trashed) but I'm blogging.

I could be trying to draw something or make another design, but like I said, I lack motivation. And whe I lack motivation, I lack inspriration, which I need to be able to make designs. I lose.

I could be exercising, but motivation actually has nothing to do with it this time, I just hate physical activity alone. I've always hated playing alone, and when it comes to other stuff, i hate it just as much. I think just being alone in general makes me depressed to an extent.

Oh look, there I am, being a hypocrite again. Because if you know me any, you'll know that I talk about basically living alone (or how I used to for long periods of time, but can't really now that my grandfather stays here a lot) and loving it because I can cook whatever I want (yes, I love to cook) and listen to music as loud as I want, and then there's that issue of a bedtime, which doesn't really exist anyways, but it's just nice to know I'm in control when he's gone.

So...I despise playing and doing stuff alone, but I love being alone while doing things for myself...I think that makes sense.

Point being, I'm bored. If I had an X-Box or PS3, or if I even liked video-games, I'd probably be wasting my life right now. I thinnk I'd rather be venting though. It's a nice release. 

The only downside I see to it though is that I compare this to a Facebook conversation in F.B. chat;  you can say as much as you want to the person you're talking to, but they can either respond with an answer you weren't looking for, or just nothing at all. I guess blogging is just the friend you have that tells everyone your innermost thoughts. But, hey, you decided to post them.

I just noticed that my pirate hat is on my printer...I've been looking for that for a little while now.

I'm gonna go clean my room and take a shower.

 March has become my most hated month of 2010 so far. If I'm already five days into it and feel this way, I know the rest is going to suck.

 Since I'm already into Friday, I guess I'll make a combination of Monday through Thursday.

Monday: I had to confront my girlfriend's two best friends in public because I found out they were trashing me and trying to get her to break up with me.

Tuesday: Snow day. Slept. A little piece of me died from boredom and an overload of CNN.

Wednesday: Snow day. Slept. Was happy until my youth group got canceled over the fear of seniors not being able to drive. Do I care about them? Yes. But do they have anything to do with the only chance I get in the week to see my friends and girlfriend for more than 10 minutes and in hallways back and forth from classes? No.

Thursday: I could have hung out with my girlfriend of four and a half months at dinner with her family, but since her brother's girlfriend couldn't go, (because the dinner was mainly so they could meet her) there was no point in me going (though I still really wanted to).

Friday/Today: Actually woke up in a good mood, until I realized what I had to do today and where I had to go to do it. School is that much of a mood killer for me nowadays.

-Went to school in a slightly better mood after I temporarily adopted the philosophy of making the most of life, then realized the door to where I go every morning to dodge the jocks in the cafeteria was locked. (This room is the band room, and no, I am not in band. I don't even play anything.)

-Met up with my girlfriend, and we walked around for a few minutes. Needless to say, my mood was lifted. Then an old friend of hers came along.

This friend was a drill instructor.

We first ran into this drill instructor friend of hers during our walk around school, and she saw we were holding hands. This was no big deal.

Then, only a few minutes later, we found ourselves in the presence of this drill instructor (who I later found out was subbing for an absent teacher) in the stairs, mid-kiss. I swear to you, this was not even a half-second kiss, but God if she didn't walk right down those stairs and right into us when it happened. 

I have horrible timing.

And since this drill instructor is VERY good friends with my girlfriend's parents, they're bound to hear about it, and have, yet again, another reason to not like me.

-This all happened before the bell for first block even rang.

Yet, oddly enough, the rest of the day at school wasn't that bad. I actually completed my work in math, and had somewhat of an idea of what I was doing with those odd triangles. I then went to the gym to hang out with my girlfriend for the last half-hour of class. It was nice talking with her, because I love our conversations.

Second was bearable as well. Oddly enough, we had a party, and I was introduced to taco soup (courtesy of Zach Arnick's mother). Oh, and my bitch of an ex-girlfriend and her best friend came to my desk and bothered the shit out of me.

Third was, okay. That's all it was.

And as for fourth, it's a mystery in a way. I have no idea what I absorb in there, but I just know I get my work done, and then blank it out when I get home, just in time for my grandfather to ask me what I did in that class.

-The bus ride home is not worth mentioning. I sat next to a Hawaiian though, she's a pervert.

-All that's let now is home, and the joys I found of being there.

 But, before I go into those joys, let me fill you in on something that must be known in order to understand these so called "joys."

 In short: I was supposed to get a kick ass job. Everything was lined up, and I was informed that my age was not an issue. I was stoked for about a week straight until today, when I checked my email.

 Apparently, my age IS an issue, and I was and have been morbidly depressed since. Fuck me being 15. But, hey, I guess this depression led to the birth of my blog, which, as it turns out, is an amazing way to vent.

 That's been my day. Ohhh, and there was also the little fact that almost every friend I have will be at my church this weekend for a huge get-together that I couldn't go to because I'm dead broke and have to pay for my own things. Hey, I could have had a job to pay for future things like this, but, I just had to be born when I was born.

....I'm taking that last statement back, even though I'm not deleting it.

 Point being, my girlfriend just so happens to be there until Sunday night. My luck, because now, I'm going to be depressed throughout the vast majority of this weekend, with no one around to cheer me up because most of my close friends are at church, palling around, while I'm at home, steadily drowning myself in ideas of blog topics.

 What a life.

 Oh, I had lamb a few minutes ago. It's fatty and I dislike it...